A Pornographer's Perspective on Sex, Love, and Dating
Sorry, ladies, says pornographer; men are just natural cheaters.
Men are “hard-wired” to cheat on women sexually, says pornographer Dave Pounder, who explains why in Obscene Thoughts. Pounder says that evolutionary biology teaches us that the hunter-gatherer ancestors of modern man had sex with as many women as possible to propagate the species—an impetus still alive in men today. Because of this, women need to accept that it is instinctive for men to seek multiple sexual partners, even when they’re in a supposedly monogamous relationship.
Pounder has vast experience in adult entertainment, along with a bachelor’s degree in finance and a master’s degree in information management. He has also conducted an independent study of the biological, anthropological, and psychological aspects of human sexuality. Because of his background, the perspectives Pounder offers on subjects like love, dating, and equality between the sexes are entertaining, informative, and polemical.
Obscene Thoughts invites argument from female readers and anyone caught up in the romance of mating. For example, along with the theorem that infidelity is programmed into men, the types of males that today’s women choose as mates are predetermined from past practices of their female hunter-gatherer ancestors. They chose men that were the most physically fit, thus, good providers. In the case of twenty-first century women, the best providers and the “fittest” mates are men with the most wealth.
This potentially controversial stance also provides much food for thought. Pounder uses unorthodox, but logical, analogies that push buttons and also show humor amid his explicit teaching techniques. For example, in the following passage, Pounder compares women and men to cats and dogs: “It is not just the obvious physical and biological differences that separate men and women; it is temperament as well … Like dogs, most men want to have sex with anyone … are eager to meet almost everyone, are happy chasing balls for hours … Women … are much more like cats. They are clean, sophisticated, and are hesitant to jump onto just anybody’s lap.”
Pounder applies his expertise in economics and his insider’s understanding of the porn industry to all elements of male and female relations. This includes long-term domestic partnerships and marriage. Where it might be easy to slip into a callous and jaded tone, Pounder comes across as realistic and pragmatic. That said, some readers might take offense at his casual attitude and seemingly immoral positions. Pounder addresses this with a quote from Freakonomics, a book by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner: “Morality represents the way that people would like the world to work—whereas economics represents how it actually does work.”
Readers who enjoy Steven Pinker’s The Better Angels of Our Nature and Jared Diamond’s The World Until Yesterday will be enthralled by Obscene Thoughts. It strips away the thin veneer of civilization and knocks humanity off the top rung of the evolutionary ladder. Sex, once again, becomes all about fecundity and continuing the species.
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