Unshaming
A Memoir of Recovery, Relapse, and What Comes After
A follow-up to Drunk Mom, Jowita Bydlowska’s raw memoir Unshaming is about working to heal from alcohol addiction and the shame of relapse.
About Bydlowska’s efforts to remain sober, setbacks, and the challenge of recovery, the book recounts visits to Alcoholics Anonymous, lost ground to relapses, and personal trauma. Its portrayal of recovery eschews standard redemption arcs in favor of honesty and nuance, detailing Bydlowska’s feelings of isolation, the constant war between good and bad choices, and how she hid her drinking, including while in the hospital after a mountain biking accident. Indeed, the book’s self-accounting is thorough and remorseless, as when Bydlowska confesses that boredom poses a threat to her hard-won sobriety and muses on the nostalgia she feels when passing by drinkers who make imbibing seem carefree.
The book also delves into the complexities of parenthood during recovery, making incisive observations about maintaining a child’s trust. It ponders the personal and universal meanings of shame, too. Bydlowska shares fear of hitting rock bottom and smashing up her face, envisioning “teeth spilling out like Chiclets from ground-meat lips,” and such rough images contrast well with scenes in which she relishes life, as when soaking in the “chatter of sun-tired beachgoers in flip-flops” at a restaurant.
The book’s darkness is leavened by a black humor. Bydlowska fears that she will leave nothing behind other than “hysterical writing,” for example, and comments on the risk of having others see “the poster girl for sobriety having a big ol’ drink.” Its accounts of falling down and getting back up are unsparing throughout. Ultimately, they serve to expose shame in order to be free from it.
Sobriety is a rickety roller coaster in the powerful memoir Unshaming, about addiction, recovery, and regret.
Reviewed by
Joseph S. Pete
Disclosure: This article is not an endorsement, but a review. The publisher of this book provided free copies of the book to have their book reviewed by a professional reviewer. No fee was paid by the publisher for this review. Foreword Reviews only recommends books that we love. Foreword Magazine, Inc. is disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.
