Other People's Mothers
Julie Marie Wade’s shrewd and winsome memoir Other People’s Mothers is about the gendered conventions of her 1980s and 1990s Seattle girlhood.
Nine chapters, covering Wade’s life from the ages of six to thirteen, center observations of her friends and their mothers. Wade ponders the notion of being “born to be a mother” and proffers tongue-in-cheek commentary on what she learned from each family: “Mrs. Arlington [Or a Study of Apocalypse as an After-School Special]” introduces a Rapture-oriented clan whose faith bears little resemblance to the Wades’ cozy Lutheranism, making her consider “what I’ve been told versus what I believe, what I doubt versus what I know for sure.”
Wade embodies her precocious childhood point-of-view with aplomb. Vignettes reveal her incidental learning of truths about herself and her parents. From their parents’ reaction to her friend Steven’s request to be Florence Nightingale for Halloween, she grasps how strict their gender boundaries are. Overhearing her parents gossiping about Mrs. Lennox, she recognizes her mother’s hypocrisy; their discussion of her overweight friend Ellie equates thinness with virtue. Her voice matures as the chapters advance. That Mrs. Magnussen’s company and touch thrill Wade more than her son’s gives an inkling of Wade’s sexual orientation.
Popular culture references anchor the book. Food and fashion are frequent vehicles for epiphanies, pointing to the importance of the body—and perhaps sexuality. Everyone says Mrs. Fischer and her daughter Alicia are “cut from the same cloth,” whereas Wade knows that she disappoints her own mother with her unfeminine clothing. She is often accused of putting words in others’ mouths—a witty foreshadowing of just what she’ll do as an author.
A playful and insightful memoir-in-essays, Other People’s Mothers sets a coming-of-age story in the context of a conformist community.
Reviewed by
Rebecca Foster
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