In the Evening, We'll Dance
A Memoir in Essays on Love & Dementia
The interlocking essays of Anne-Marie Erickson’s poignant memoir In the Evening, We’ll Dance commemorate her bond with her late husband, who had dementia.
Erickson met Dick in 1974, and they married in 1981. They were both writers; he was seventeen years older and had three children. Together they built a log cabin in Minnesota’s North Woods and spent a year teaching English in Madrid.
Three decades into their relationship, Dick started to exhibit memory problems consistent with Alzheimer’s. His later years were a mixture of heartache and tenderness. “I wanted to remain heedful of his dignity while bearing unflinching witness,” Erickson writes. With words disappearing, music became more important in their shared life. Erickson brought volumes of lyrics to Dick’s assisted-living home and sang to him.
The essays are titled with phrases Dick said or wrote, including “I Still See in the Eyes of My Wife. Beautiful!” and “There’s So Much to Say, but I’m Not Capable.” His neologisms and sayings are surprising and profound, making him part of the book’s action. Erickson jotted down these statements, along with notes on Dick’s condition and treatment, in commonplace books in preparation for this text, which incorporates art and literary references, dreams rendered in italics, analogies from fairy tales, and the basic science of Alzheimer’s.
Throughout, Erickson ponders liminal spaces and asserts Dick’s “presence and luminousness” despite advanced illness. She also faces complicated emotions, including guilt over her anger at Dick’s incontinence. Saturated with language and its loss, the text is lyrical, painting dementia as a “thief” that “picked the pockets of my husband’s mind.”
The elegiac memoir In the Evening, We’ll Dance affirms ongoing selfhood and enduring love in the face of Alzheimer’s.
Reviewed by
Rebecca Foster
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