Stranded by Divorce
How to Survive, Heal, and Come Back Stronger
Based on personal experiences, the personable self-help guide Stranded by Divorce shares informal advice for acting and reacting throughout the divorce process.
Rob Malkani’s candid memoir–cum–self-help book Stranded by Divorce is about navigating the gauntlet of marriage termination.
Malkani felt “blindsided” by his wife’s 2017 request for an amicable divorce after a decade of marriage. He worried about where he was going to live, the financial burden of the process, whether he would feel lonely or estranged, and how his three daughters would be affected.
Progressing with compact intensity to follow the progression of Malkani’s divorce, the book conveys a clear sense of his logistical and emotional emergence, from adjusting to the prospect of divorce to the final marriage dissolution. Moments within the process are narrated with wry emotional candor, including through coverage of custodial arrangements and the expression of frustrated resignation: Malkani asserts that his wife had an “unlimited war chest and irrational desire to punish.” An amusing account regarding the custody of the family’s “awesome” cat, who disdained litigation efforts, leavens the work.
Indeed, the book’s focus is not all internalized. Alongside detailing Malkani’s experiences, it shares informal advice for acting and reacting throughout the divorce process. For example, there’s helpful information regarding divorce law proceedings, though the book stops short of providing legal counsel (and includes internal disclaimers to that effect). “Life advice” for navigating the process is more prevalent, as with the book’s coverage of the likelihood of increasing tensions following a divorce announcement, which includes hypothetical concerns like hostile in-laws and the division of personal and communal property.
Drawing on his personal experiences, Malkani urges those in the process to build a support network, work with therapists if needed, and engage in hobbies and other fulfilling activities to rediscover their individual identities. There is also guidance regarding postseparation dating and a suggestion to create new routines and traditions with one’s children so they will look forward to their custodial visits. Some such advice is quite commonsense: The urge to badmouth one’s spouse should be suppressed, the book says, in particular when children are involved.
Though the book’s general tone is accessible and without bias, some undersupported declarations emerge, as with the proclamation that family courts often favor women in custody proceedings. Its suggestion to read Sun Tzu’s tactical classic The Art of War before entering legal negotiations is both humorous and galvanizing.
A savvy memoir–cum–self-help book, Stranded by Divorce draws on the anguish of a personal divorce to share forthright advice for managing the process of uncoupling.
Reviewed by
Meg Nola
Disclosure: This article is not an endorsement, but a review. The publisher of this book provided free copies of the book and paid a small fee to have their book reviewed by a professional reviewer. Foreword Reviews and Clarion Reviews make no guarantee that the publisher will receive a positive review. Foreword Magazine, Inc. is disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.
