Stone Walls
An Ugly Duckling Story: An Adoptee’s Search for Identity, “Family,” and Understanding
An edifying memoir–cum–social science study, Stone Walls problematizes adoption processes and laws in Canada.
Sandra Patricia’s emotive memoir Stone Walls argues that adoption doesn’t always serve children well.
Exploring adoption practices via Patricia’s experiences as an adoptee, the book discusses the “stone walls” she formed after years of abuse and a miserable childhood. Her shocking memories begin when she was five years old, reflecting a childhood and adolescence that was one long and painful trial, leading her to question her own self-worth. She felt like an outsider within her family, singled out by her parents for verbal and emotional abuse. The heart-wrenching experience of giving a child up for adoption herself after a teenage pregnancy caused her to revisit the question of whether she was adopted, initiating her thorough investigation into the impact of adoption on adoptees. She also fought against the unofficial but accepted social position that “innocent children are the commodity.”
The critical people in Patricia’s life—including her mother and father, with whom she had a tumultuous relationship; her two sisters; her boyfriends; and her husband—are fleshed out in abundant detail. Her individual stories are also enlightening, used to support the book’s sense of Patricia’s harrowing trajectory. Still, they are exhaustive in their number and detail, bogging down the memoir’s pace. There are also some unnecessary explanations, as with an extended description of the familiar twelve-step process used by Alcoholics Anonymous.
More centered is the book’s sociological survey, built on Patricia’s in-depth research into the psychological effects of being an adoptee. There are detailed descriptions of patriarchy and motherhood, the history of families in Canada since the Industrial Revolution, and the relationship between Victorian Protestantism and family structure. Insights into adoption law and the ways that unwed pregnant women are discriminated against are shared. These formal insights exist somewhat at odds with Patricia’s personal story, though. Even her examination of adoption’s role within Canadian society in terms of official processes and protective laws is quite dry, contrasting with the intimate language used to describe her personal experiences. Still, the book makes keen points, problematizing how adoption processes and laws are set up to fail both the women who opt to give up their babies and adoptees themselves in Canada.
A thought-provoking memoir–cum–social science study, Stone Walls questions assumptions regarding adoption in Canada and the consequent burdens placed on both women and adoptees.
Reviewed by
Caroline Goldberg Igra
Disclosure: This article is not an endorsement, but a review. The publisher of this book provided free copies of the book and paid a small fee to have their book reviewed by a professional reviewer. Foreword Reviews and Clarion Reviews make no guarantee that the publisher will receive a positive review. Foreword Magazine, Inc. is disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.
