Love Wars
Clash of the Parents: A True Divorce Story
Love Wars is a sympathetic memoir about the profound effects of messy divorces on children.
Matthew A. Tower’s emotive memoir Love Wars is about his childhood attempts to escape the wretchedness of his parents’ divorce.
When Tower’s parents’ marriage fell apart, he and his brother Thomas were thrown into chaos. Their parents fought in front of them over scheduling visits, custody details, and after-school activities, including violin and Hebrew lessons. They also spoke to each other in a horrible manner:
In this moment, [my parents] looked like twin Dark Lords of the Sith. Their eyes shot icy daggers at each other. They screamed so loud and with such force, I thought whoever yelled loudest would win the hate competition and cause the other to drop dead.
Tower coped with his parents’ divorce by harnessing the power of popular culture superheroes, including Luke Skywalker and Encyclopedia Brown (the latter of whom he wished could assist him in discovering “Who’s the bad parent?”), wishing that one of “my favorite superheroes would magically appear and tell me which parents were the real ones and which was the imposter.” Indeed, getting lost in the stories of popular characters who succeeded against great odds helped him and his brother deal with their difficult situation. Those heroes became their heroes and, with them as examples, Tower became determined to stop the war between his parents and achieve the peaceful household that he and his brother deserved.
Progressing in a flowing, chronological fashion following Tower’s parents’ breakup, the book outlines the differences between the time spent with each parent, the negotiations of their new lives as a split family, and their preparations for the divorce proceedings. While most of the text focused on the drama between the Tower family members, legal personnel, judges, lawyers, grandparents, and assorted family friends are also represented, with each fulfilling a specific and essential role within the larger drama of the Towers’ messy divorce. An addendum outlines what happened to each individual mentioned, both personally and in relation to Tower and his brother, to further flesh these portraits out.
The prose intensifies as the book progresses, culminating in a cataclysmic ending followed by a sense of relief. However, the tempestuous events are resolved with credulity-straining ease; the conclusion is idealized in a way that the preceding events were not. Vivid illustrations by Tsuneo Sanda, the original artist who worked with George Lucas on Star Wars, complement the text, emphasizing the intense effect of the divorce on Tower and portraying his feelings of horror versus calm with clarity.
The heart-wrenching memoir Love Wars reflects back on childhood means of surviving a messy divorce.
Reviewed by
Caroline Goldberg Igra
Disclosure: This article is not an endorsement, but a review. The publisher of this book provided free copies of the book and paid a small fee to have their book reviewed by a professional reviewer. Foreword Reviews and Clarion Reviews make no guarantee that the publisher will receive a positive review. Foreword Magazine, Inc. is disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.
