You Lifted My Head
Rising From the Ruins of Marital Collapse
“Nothing that happens in your life not even falling into sin is devoid of purpose” the author writes; “God salvages it and causes it all to work together for your good.” L. Iona Halliman writes from a Christian perspective to others who share similar beliefs. Her story is a very personal record of how her understanding of Christian teachings regarding God’s forgiveness and love evolved and grew through the suffering she endured as her relationship with her husband was ending.
When her twelve-year marriage was becoming too difficult to bear Halliman found understanding and comfort in the arms of a trusted friend and confidant. This adulterous relationship resulted in feelings of guilt shame and the belief that she had “lost her salvation” had “thrown away” the gift of eternal life and was condemned to live out her days without the joy of living in God’s presence. The author explains her descent into serious depression by saying “Those who have never committed their lives to Christ do not know the hell of being separated from Him in this life.” She had come to what she described as the “gate of hell.”
For two years Halliman suffered “utter suffocating darkness…utter hopelessness…and utter separation from God.” She was able to identify with Christ’s cry from the cross “My God my God why hast thou forsaken me?” But unlike the Christ Halliman knew that she was indeed guilty. She describes her recovery as the result of a deeper knowledge of God brought about through suffering surrender to what she knew to be His will in all areas of her life appreciation of the “spiritual mirror” her suffering had become and her new perception of it as her “training grounds” for higher service.
During the most difficult time of her life the author learned the greatness and depth of the unfailing love of God. Her book born of a desire to let others know that God’s mercy is greater than any sin is a testimony to what God can do for the believer even when all hope appears to have been lost. Filled with relevant Scriptures Halliman’s book will best be received by those of a similar religious persuasion and would be improved by eliminating the rather choppy “special note” and “update” at the end. Her effort may serve to encourage Christians who are in despair with its message that “this too will pass if you allow God into your circumstances.”
The author lives in Kingston Jamaica is active in various church ministries and is pursuing a bachelor’s degree in Human Resources Management. Halliman encourages Christians who may be going through similar situations to realize that they are not alone; she recommends becoming physically active and attending church even though these may be the last activities that would appeal to someone dealing with deep depression. She also counsels patience saying that “healing and restoration come gradually” while assuring that they will indeed come.