The best place to go on that ever-important first date should involve some element of excitement, the author says. She shares that bit of wisdom as part of fifty-eight techniques she’s designed to help the average person find their Mr. or Miss Right.
This is the audio version of Lowndes’ 1996 bestselling book by the same name, in which she outlines step-by-step the information one should know in their pursuit of a PLP (potential love partner). Read by the author herself—the author of seven books who’s been called “America’s Communication Guru”—she explains methods and ways to “induce desired behaviors.”
Technique #16 is “Give first date butterflies.” She says the ideal first date should be something exciting, such as horseback riding, attending a sporting event, or even watching a good adventure movie. If it’s an emotionally stirring experience for the couple, senses tend to be more aroused. The date could then conclude with dinner and discussion of this shared bond.
Lowndes points out that it’s the use of correct verbal and nonverbal skills and cues that can entice someone into another’s “world.” For example, if someone has captured another’s interest, she says to increase eye contact, smile, give a friendly nod, and move within speaking distance.
With perhaps tongue-in-cheek coyness and read in a full, vibrant (almost lusty) voice, she addresses male and female listeners as “hunters” and “huntresses”; their PLP is the “quarry.” While this theme can eventually get a little tiresome, Lowndes does offer some very interesting gender psychology and the communication gap between the two.
Technique #41 explores the conversational differences between the genders. For women, it’s “Just the Facts.” The flip side for men is “Paint Her a Pretty Picture.” Lowndes advises women to just give her guy the basic information, but with veiled compliments. Men, however, win points on fleshing-out the conversation with elaborate details.
Although exotic strangers may increase one’s pulse rate, Lowndes notes, “Most people marry pretty close to home.” Successful love relationships depend on shared attitudes and values, with just a touch of difference. For example, a bashful man might hook up with a more talkative mate.
Even if a person is not actually in the market for love, most of Lowndes insights are useful in everyday relationships. A subliminal linguistic device used to suggest perceived similarities with another is using an exact word they use and echo it back. The person will feel closer if he or she hears the same word in conversation.
Be forewarned: Techniques #49 and following are more R-rated as she instructs how one can become a “sexual sleuth” and move to a more intimate level.
Lowndes’ final instructions on love are “to study and practice, follow your instincts, and obey your heart.”
Robin Farrell Edmunds
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