Men, Try This On For a Romantic Thought: Romance Novels Are Not All About You

Romance

It’s a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. —Maude Lebowski *The Big Lebowski

Why do women love romance novels? The genre is, by its nature, irresistible. Romance uses strong plotting, intriguing relationships, and breathtaking landscapes to tell stories of love, heartbreak, and courage in a way that is still relatable and honest.

Who hasn’t felt her inner Scarlett O’Hara’s hackles raised over some social slight, or wondered if she’s finally met her Mr. Darcy? Romance novels bring life’s fantasies to the surface. Although often dismissed as “just writing for girls,” romance is a retail powerhouse that not only sells print books—no mean feat, in an age of e-publishing—but also outsells science fiction, fantasy, and the classics. Clearly, it’s doing something right. A lot of somethings.

In romances, women really can have it all—the manor house, children, a fortune, and a handsome partner to share it with. Part escapism and part wish fulfillment, a well-written romance adds dimension to day-to-day life. That could be me, you think. I’ve felt that way.

Also, with an 84 percent female readership, romances tend to be novels written by women, for women. The average reader is educated, makes over $55K per year, and prefers strong story over sexy cover art. So why is reading romance still a little bit taboo?

I want to start by outing myself.

As a lifelong reader of romances, and lover of women’s fiction, I endure gentle ribbing from my friends and coworkers every time I mention what I’m reading. “Jane Austen again?” they ask. Short answer: “Yes. Duh.”

It’s good-natured teasing, but still—what’s wrong with liking romance? The genre gets a bad rap for being frivolous, or badly written. But, honestly, bad writing is everywhere, in every genre. If you’ve ever struggled through a massively dull memoir or literary fiction novel, you know the pain of reading bad writing, and it’s not exclusive to women’s writing. According to romance novelist Maya Rodale, writing in the *Huffington Post*, “The idea that women’s fiction was frivolous and the readers were foolish goes way back to the 18th and 19th centuries, when the novel was gaining popularity and women were gaining literacy.”

For the record, I am highly literate. I have a master’s degree in creative writing, for Jane’s sake. I think it’s worth pointing out that until men’s topics started cropping up in novels—hunting whales, avenging family honor, adventure—the form wasn’t really “dignified.” Now, novels are considered the pinnacle of writing, and it’s rare to find a writer who hasn’t attempted the longer form. But if you write about relationships? That’s “women’s literature,” also derided as “chick lit,” and belongs on a separate shelf. What gives?

In an interview with the New York Times, author Rodale said that romance writers “are aware that romance is looked down upon, and that it’s something they are expected to feel ashamed of.” Romance has benefited massively from the increase in e-readers because, for once, it’s possible to hide the cover of your book and evade notice or comment on your choice of reading material.

Nora Roberts says that the stigma around romance is because the books are written by women, about women, and for women. You don’t need to look much further than the recent kerfuffle about the Ghostbusters reboot to see that women-driven stories are not as valued in our culture as the same-old good-guy-saves-the-day stories.

For this reader, romance is satisfying because it covers emotional and physical territory that I haven’t experienced. It’s not wish fulfillment, exactly, but a temporary trip to an imaginary world. As a professional writer and reader, I’ve read thousands of books. (That is not a hyperbole.) I’m a jaded reader, in some ways. I don’t have much patience for novels that aren’t innovative, clever, or interested in entertaining me. Romance, as a genre, continues to deliver pleasant surprises that linger with me for days after I’m done. I rarely find myself daydreaming about the psychological thriller I read last week, but lines from my latest romance novel will slip through my mind throughout the day, like a melody, and make me smile. Romance delivers stories in a way that is fresh and works hard to be interesting. I can’t say the same about many of the other genres I read.

Although the old chestnut is to “write what you know,” romance is enjoyable because it introduces me to aspects of life I don’t know. Sociologist Jenna Gregson says, “Nobody assumes that men who write mystery do research by killing people. You would never ask a Sci Fi writer if they build robots, if they go to outer space. Women are assumed to write only what they know.”

If that’s the case, then we have women writers on the moon, in Manhattan high rises, riding horses on the coast of Spain, making love in Scottish castles, waging war in medieval Europe, and adventuring with creatures both human and supernatural. Now that’s what I call girl power.


Claire Foster
Claire Rudy Foster lives in Portland, Oregon, where the rainy weather happily necessitates long days of reading indoors. An unabashed Janeite, she enjoys romance novels of all stripes. You can follow her on twitter @verasententia.

Claire Foster

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